Stalking

What is Stalking?

Stalking is a series of actions or behaviours that makes you feel uncomfortable, afraid or in danger. Stalking is serious and should never be ignored. It often escalates over time and can be violent.

A stalker can be someone you know well or someone you do not. Most often a stalker will be someone whom you have met and may have had a relationship with. The majority of people who are stalked are women and the majority of people who stalk are men, but men are sometimes stalked and women can sometimes be stalkers.

Some things stalkers might do include:

Follow you and show up where you are
Repeatedly call you and may include hanging up
Damage your home, property or car
Damage the home, property or car of you family and/or friends
Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, texts, or e-mails
Monitor your phone calls or computer usage
Use technology like hidden cameras or global positioning systems, to track where you are and where you go
Drive by hour home, work, school, college
Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends or pets
Find out about you using public records or on-line search facilities, hiring investigators, going through your rubbish, or contacting your family, friends, neighbours, or work colleagues
Any other actions that control or frighten you.

None of this behaviour is your fault. You are not to blame for a stalker’s behaviour.

Myths

‘If I just ignore it, it'll go away’

Stalkers do not stop their behaviour because you ignore it, in fact in some instances this can mean they increase their behaviour in order to try and attract the attention of their victim. It is important to take action to stop the actions of the stalker AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The sooner action is taken, be it police caution/warning, solicitors letter, arrest, the more chance it has of stopping. The legislation is there for exactly this reason. Research has shown that those stalkers who are allowed to carry on, are less likely to stop easily. It is important to SAY NO TO FEAR as soon as possible..

‘You should be so lucky I’d keep the presents etc...’

People often joke about having a stalker and may try to make light of the situation and not take it as seriously as they should. Receiving unwanted attention, having someone follow you and send you unwanted notes and gifts can be terrifying. These comments are usually from people who are ignorant about the subject and what it is like to be on the receiving end of a stalker. If you are being stalked try to ignore comments that upset or anger you and gently educate these people if they seem not to understand what is happening to you. Never let anybody minimise stalking..

‘Stalkers are just lonely and just need some attention.’
Stalkers may or may not be lonely people, and on no account should someone who is being stalked, by either a stranger or a previous partner, arrange to On no account must you agree to meet with your stalker or communicate with them in any way. They are just feeding their obsession by controlling you and may give you false hope that they will stop. It might put you in a dangerous situation from which you can't escape. Please don't do it, don't be manipulated. Report incidents to the police. In addition, if you have already involved the police, it will weaken any prosecution case against your stalker simply because you have co-operated with the stalker.

It’s pointless going to the police because they can’t do anything
The Protection from Harassment Act 1997 is there to protect anybody who is a victim of ay kind of stalking or harassing behaviour. The evidence required for the police to take action is 'on more than one occasion' i.e. 2 incidents. They do NOT need to be the same (i.e.; can be a phone call and being followed) but they do need to be reasonably close together in time. The Act takes a test called the 'reasonable person test', that is, if a reasonable person (consider members of a jury) deems what is happening to you to be harassment then action can be taken. A police warning might be enough to stop it, but the power is there for the police to arrest if necessary.

The power of the ‘Protection from Harassment’ Act reaches into the civil law as well as the criminal law. If someone doesn’t want to take action through the police, they can go to a solicitor and obtain a Injunction under the Protection From Harassment Act through the civil courts, although this will cost money. If you feel that you are going to be harassed by someone (ex-partner, stalker coming out of prison) you are able to obtain an Injunction for an Apprehended Breach you are anticipating harassment to occur, and are using the civil law to protect you before this happens.

A breach of Restraining Order/Injunction obtained either through the criminal OR civil court is an arrestable offence and is liable for up to 5 years imprisonment.

Risks

Anybody can be at risk of stalking, but the most common stalkers are people who are known to their victim most commonly a partner or a former partner. Women are the most at risk and men the most likely perpetrators. Stalking behaviour can lead to a victim being forced to live an increasingly restricted life, with constant and increasing fear. The longer staking has lasted the longer it is likely to continue for and its associated risks will increase. Where the perpetrator of stalking is a former partner, or believes themselves to have had some kind of relationship with the victim, there is an increased risk of violence and harm, including sexual assault and death. There is also the risk that if somebody has been stalking, and stops, that they may begin stalking again in the future – often the victim is the same, but sometimes they will transfer their attention to another.

Being a victim of stalking is very frightening and carries a real and increasing risk of psychological and emotional harm, as well as the risk of threat and violence. Whilst many stalkers may never carry out their threats there is a real risk that they may do, and all threats should be taken very seriously.

Impact of Stalking

Being stalked has a profound impact on every aspect of a victim’s life.

46.% of victims report they fear not knowing what could happen next.
30% are afraid the behaviour will never stop.
More than half of the stalking victims fear bodily harm to themselves, their child, or another family member.
One in 7 victims have to move to escape the stalker/s.
About 3 in 10 of stalking victims accrue out-of-pocket costs for things such as legal fees, security measures/devices, damage to property, child care costs, moving expenses, or changing phone numbers.
More than half of stalking victims lose at least 5 or more days from work. (Also leads to loss of income).
Anger/annoyance is the most common emotion experienced by victims (72%).
Others report fear (42%), anxiety (27%), helplessness (10%), depression (10%).
93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked has had a significant negative impact on their personal relationships.
63% of stalking victims report conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The conflict is most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their stalker might be present and their friend's frustration because they believe the victim was not doing enough to deter their stalker.
Many stalking victims have changed jobs or transferred to another school or college to escape the always-present terror they experience.
Most stalking victims report that they are at a loss about what they can do to end their victimization.

Many victims report living in constant fear that something might push their stalker over the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them. If you are being stalked you might:

Feel really afraid or what the stalker will do.
Feel vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust.
Feel nervous, irritable, impatient, or on edge.
Feel depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful or angry.
Feel stressed, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things.
Have eating problems, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or over eating.
Have flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, feelings or memories.
Feel confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.

These are all very common and understandable reactions to being stalked. Seek help and support and Say No To Fear

Seeking help and keeping safe

If you are being stalked by a former partner this behaviour will have usually started whilst you were still in a relationship with your stalker. If you are being stalked by a stranger or someone else then the behaviour may have come from nowhere, and can be very frightening. Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous. However as no two stalking situations are alike there are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another. You might find our Keeping Safe section and Safety Plan useful. But there are some steps that you can take to increase your safety:

If you are in immediate danger call 999
Trust your instincts. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel unsafe you probably are.
Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide, murder, serious harm, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
Contact Merseyside Police, phone a helpline or a specialist advocacy service. All of the services you will need can be found in our Directory of Services.
These services can help you to devise a safety plan, give you information about other local services, help you to understand how the law can help you, and weigh up all your options including seeking orders that might be able to help protect you.
Develop a safety plan, which includes things like changing your routine, telling family and friends, arranging a safe place to stay, and asking others to support you. Also decide what to do in advance if the stalker does make contact with you, or turn up at your home or workplace, or elsewhere.
Don’t communicate in any way with the person who is stalking you, or respond to any attempts they may make to contact you. This may be very difficult if this person is an ex partner but its important to be strong as contact will feed the behaviour.
Keep evidence of the stalking behaviour. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date and place. Keep e-mails, texts, phone messages, or any cards or notes. Photograph anything of yours that the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.
Contact the police. There is a law called the Protection from Harassment Act that makes stalking and harassing behaviour illegal. The stalker may also have broken other laws if they have sent you obscene materials, messages, assaulted you or destroyed your property.
If necessary consider getting an order from the court to protect you requires the stalker to stay away from you.
Tell family, friends, roommates, teachers and colleagues about the stalking and seek their support. Tell security staff at your work, school or college. Ask them to help watch out for your safety.

If someone you know is being stalked what can you do?

Listen
Show support
Don’t blame the victim for the stalker’s behaviour, this is not their fault.
Remember that every situation and stalker is different.
Allow the person who is being stalked to make choices about how to handle it, but make sure they have access to the very best information to make choices from.
Find someone you can talk to about the situation – contact the police or a specialist agency for help and advice.
Take steps to ensure your own safety, the stalker may target you as a way of abusing your friend, relative or colleague.
If you are in immediate danger call 999

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