Sexual Harassment

What is Sexual Harassment?

Any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual. Sexual harassment can occur in any location, but most commonly happens in schools, colleges, pubs, bars and clubs, and the workplace. It can also be perpetrated in social groups – many women report being sexually harassed by the partners of friends, or relatives.

Types of Sexual Harassment include

Verbal…

Comments about body parts
Sexual name calling
Sexual jokes
Sexual rumors

Written…

Sexual notes or letters
Sexual graffiti
Sexual drawings/pictures
Sexual e-mails

Physical…

Sexual touching, grabbing, rubbing, etc.
Sexual gestures
Pulling clothes up, down or off
Sexual staring

Sexual harassment can be perpetrated by both men and women, but the vast majority of its victims are female and its perpetrators male. The worst sexual harassment occurs when the perpetrator is in a position of power over their victim.

Myths and stereotypes

‘People often say they have been sexually harassed but they haven’t its just flirting – they need to lighten up’

There are huge differences between flirting and sexual harassment. Flirting is harmless, is welcome and wanted, and is mutual and shared. It makes people feel good and is complimentary. Flirting feels equal to both parties and builds self esteem. Many people flirt with others without it leading to them feeling like they have to take the behaviour any further.

Sexual harassment is unwanted attention for its victims, and makes them feel controlled, unhappy and demeaned. It degrades them and is threatening. Sexual harassment builds the ego of the abuser whilst tearing done the self esteem of the victim. Sexual harassment makes victims feel powerless whilst making the abuser feel very powerful and in control.

Sexual harassment is inevitable when people are working together, there is always flirting and banter

While interactions between people may be inevitable, uninvited sexual overtures are not. Sexual harassment is not the same as flirting.

Some people ask to be sexually harassed. They do this with how they dress, or how they act. They send "signals."

Being subjected to sexual harassment is a painful, difficult, and frequently traumatic experience. Defences such as "she wore provocative clothes" and "she enjoyed it" are neither acceptable nor accurate. Nothing a victim does justifies anybody sexually harassing them.

If a person really wanted to discourage, or stop, sexual harassment, they could.

Often, the harasser is in a position to punish the recipient by withholding a promotion, giving a bad evaluation, or giving a low grade. In this society, men are known to rationalize their actions by saying that a women's "no" is really a "yes."

Most charges of sexual harassment are false.

People have nothing to gain from making false accusations. It is very difficult to complain about sexual harassment and victims very rarely make false accusations. Confronting the issue can be both physically and financially draining. Usually, victims are traumatized further by the entire process.

If you ignore sexually harassing behaviour, it will eventually stop.

Sexual harassment very rarely stops on its own and often only gets worse with time. The only way to make it top is to take action against the abuser. In a recent survey, only 29% of the women who said they tried to ignore the behavior said that it "made things better." Over 61% of the women said that telling the harasser to stop was the most effective method.

Only women are sexually harassed, this does not happen to men; and all sexual harassment perpetrators are male.

While women continue to be the majority of sexual harassment recipients, men do get
harassed by other men, and sometimes by women. Sometimes women are sexually harassed by other women.

The seriousness of sexual harassment is exaggerated; most "harassment" is really minor, and involves harmless flirtation.

Sexual harassment can be devastating. Studies indicate that most harassment has nothing to do with "flirtation: or sincere sexual or social interest on the part of the perpetrators. And it is offensive, often frightening and insulting, to the victims. Research shows that victims must often to leave school or jobs to avoid harassment. Many experience serious psychological and health-related problems. They may even be forced to relocate and move house.

We live in modern times, and sexual harassment is becoming less of a problem.

Sexual harassment affects most women at some time in their lives, and 70% of women are sexually harassed in their places of study and workplace.

Harassers have to have sexual intentions towards their target for the behavior to count as sexual harassment

Sexual harassment is a form of abuse, most commonly an abuse of power. Any unwanted sexual attention constitutes sexual harassment even if it has not yet led to someone blatantly declaring their sexual intentions.

Sexual harassment policies and legislation encourage a fear of sex, and demonises behaviour that is really normal between people.

Sexual harassing behaviour may be common, but it is not "normal” neither is it okay. Sexual harassment is not about sex; at the core of the problem is abuse, particularly the abuse of power, control and authority. The issue is one of treating people with respect and dignity. That this does not always occur may be common, and may be human nature, but it is not "normal." People should be able to go about their lives without being afraid of, or subject to, sexual harassment.

Impact of sexual harassment

The effects of sexual harassment vary from person to person, and are dependent on the severity, and duration, of the harassment. Any other forms of violence and abuse that someone may have experienced either in the past, or they are currently experiencing may also affect it. However, sexual harassment is a type of sexual assault, and victims of severe or chronic sexual harassment can suffer the same psychological effects as rape and sexual assault victims.

Aggravating factors can exist, such as their becoming the target of retaliation , backlas h, or victim blaming after they complain or take any kind of action.

Depending on the situation, a sexual harassment victim can experience anything from mild annoyance to extreme psychological damage, while the impact on a victim’s career and life may be minimal, or leave them in ruins Indeed, the treatment of the complainant during an investigation or litigation can be brutal, and add further damage to their life, health, and psyche.

Some of the effects a sexual harassment victim can experience:

Decreased work or school performance as the victim must focus on dealing with the harassment and the surrounding dynamics and/or effects.
Increased absenteeism to avoid harassment, or because of illness from the stress
Having to drop courses, move jobs, lose touch with friends if they harasser is part of their social circle.
Retaliation from the harasser, or colleagues/friends of the harasser, should the victim complain
or file a grievance (retaliation can involve revenge along with more sexual harassment, and often
involves stalking the victim)
Having one's personal life offered up for public scrutiny --the victim becomes the "accused," and their dress, lifestyle, and private life will often come under attack. (Note: this rarely occurs for the perpetrator.)
Being objectified and humiliated by scrutiny and gossip
Becoming publicly sexualized
Defamation of character and reputation
Loss of trust in environments similar to where the harassment occurred
Loss of trust
Extreme stress upon relationships with significant others, sometimes resulting in divorce;
extreme stress on peer relationships, or relationships with colleagues
Having to relocate to another city, another job, or another school
Loss of job and income because of having to leave their job
Loss of career
Isolation and weakening of support network: colleagues, friends, and even family may distance themselves from the victim or abandon them altogether.

Some of the health effects, psychological and physiological, that can occur in someone who has been sexually harassed include:

Depression
Anxiety and/or panic attacks
Post traumatic stress
Sleeplessness and/or nightmares
Shame and guilt; self-blame
Difficulty concentrating
Headaches
Fatigue or loss of motivation
Difficulties with time (forgetting appointments, trouble gauging time)
Stomach problems; gastrointestinal disorders
Eating disorders (weight loss or gain)
Feeling betrayed and/or violated
Feeling angry or violent towards the perpetrator
Feeling powerless, helpless, or out of control
Increased blood pressure
Loss of confidence and self esteem
Overall loss of trust in people; problems with intimacy
Problems with sex (sexual dysfunction)
Withdrawal and isolation
Suicidal thoughts or attempts; suicide

Risks of Sexual Harassment

Everybody can be at risk of sexual harassment, but its most likely victims are girls and women. Many schools, colleges and workplaces now have policies against sexual harassment in place and these can really help to deter some harassers, and help victims come forward to seek help. Learning about sexual harassment and talking about it with your friends and colleagues will help everybody to be clear about what is and is not acceptable. Taking away any confusion can significantly reduce the risks for everybody and send very strong signals to perpetrators about what kind of behaviour is not going to be tolerated. Harassers may also be stalkers and you might find it useful to look at our stalking and harassment section in our safety plan.

Nobody should ever expect to be able to harass you, a friend, or a colleague in any way, and if this is happening to you or someone you know then the most important thing to do is to come forward and seek help and SAY NO TO FEAR.

Help seeking and keeping safe

Nobody should have to put up with sexual harassment, and it’s important that people experiencing seek help to try and stop the behaviour and keep themselves safe.

If you feel able to and you feel it will be safe then tell the harasser firmly that their attention is unwanted, or have someone you trust do this for you. In schools colleges and the workplace, there are often people who can help you and policies to support any action that you may need to take. However you choose to confront the harassment, be firm and direct:

Tell the harasser what they have done--name the behaviour. Be specific, straightforward, and blunt.
Demand that the harassment stop.
Don't make excuses for the harasser--hold them accountable. Do not pretend nothing has
happened. Don't worry about protecting their feelings, or protecting them from feeling rejected.
Don't say "I have a boyfriend," or "I have a girlfriend." This is NOT the same thing as saying "No!" It implies you would welcome the attention if you were not in a relationship. Plus, many harassers will be encouraged by the prospects of "cheating" with you.
Make it clear that everyone has the right to be free from sexual harassment. You have a right to object to this unwanted behaviour.
Stand your ground and stick to your own agenda. Don't respond to the harasser's excuses or
tactics. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated by others into backing down.
Remember, the harasser’s behaviour is the issue--not your behaviour.
Reinforce your statements with strong, self-respecting body language: eye contact, head up, shoulders back, a strong, serious stance. Don't smile. Timid, submissive body language will undermine your message. If the harassment continues, repeat yourself if you have to.
Talk about the harassment to others. Staying silent protects harassers.
Report the harassment to your teacher, lecturer, and human resources department.
If the harasser is a member of your social circle tell your friends and ask them to help you confront the abuser or to avoid them
Whatever happens never put yourself at risk of harm, never alone with your abuser; try to always have a witness to their behaviour.
Document the harassment: You will be tempted to ignore the behaviour, telling yourself it will stop eventually. However, in most cases, the harassment continues. So, keep a log of what is happening, particularly if the perpetrator is a teacher, lecturer, or manager. Document each incident, including dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and keep it at home. Do not throw away any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail is anonymous.
Document negative actions: Document any negative actions that you experience because of your refusal to submit to sexually harassing behaviour.
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and memos that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your boss, teachers etc. The harasser may question your work or school performance in order to justify their behaviour.
Formally complain if this is happening in your place of work or study, always ask for copies of polices that relate to sexual harassment and ensure that the abuse you are experiencing is dealt with in this way.
Complain to pub or club managers if this is happening whilst you are out, and complain to your friends if this is happen in your social network. Do not tolerate this behaviour.
You can report to the police or take legal action.

In some circumstances our safety plan from our keeping safe section may be helpful. Never suffer in silence, come forward and seek help and SAY NO TO FEAR. For other support agencies please go to our directory of services.

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